Decisions
by Jyoti
Summary: What if Amy ended up giving John up for adoption?


**So this is just a little one-shot I wrote, kind of a 'what if' story. I was always curious as to what would have happened if she ended up going with adoption. **

**Decisions**

Amy sits up in her room, her homework covers up her entire bed, and her math book is open as if she's ready to study, but right now she can't study, all she can think about is John. _John._ She smiles as flash backs of her pregnancy play through her head. It was hard, it was hard for her to endure all that pain to have him, but when she sees him she can't help but smile. She remembers kissing his cheek, cuddling him, and holding him, but only for a moment. Because after that _they_ came and _took _him away. She shakes the thought out of her head. **"No, you **_**gave**_** him away Amy; you decided to give him up for adoption." **She keeps telling herself this but it doesn't make it any better. Interrupting her thoughts, there's a knock on her door, but she doesn't answer. The door opens and she sees that it's Ashley and she's surprised. Ashley never comes in her room, and when she does she definitely doesn't knock.

"Hi Ashley." Amy says her voice completely monotone. She doesn't have any energy right now, she's tired but she can't sleep because thoughts of _her_ baby continue to pop into her head.

Ashley sighs, slowly taking a few steps towards Amy. She hasn't talked to Amy since she gave birth and she hasn't even bothered to argue with her. She knows why, it's because she's angry, because she didn't want to see John go away. She takes a seat on Amy's bed, and then looks up at her with shinning eyes, "How are you feeling?"

Amy shrugs her shoulders, "I'm fine."

Silence. None of the girls dare to ask the questions that are on their minds. They sit in silence for what seems like an eternity before Amy finally says something, her eyes filled with tears, "Ash...do you think I made the right decision, about John?"

For a moment Ashley doesn't say anything, but after thinking about it, she nods slowly, not to make her sister feel better, but because she really believes it, "Amy, I think you made the right decision for you. I - it would be nice to have him here, and after everything you went through I think you deserve to keep him but...Leon and Donovan are going to be good parents to him, and give him things that you can't give him while being a teen in school."

Amy bites her bottom lip, tears still falling down her face. She smiles, a bittersweet smile, "When I saw him in the hospital, I knew that I had already loved him. I held him in my hands and I never wanted to let him go but I had to. And I guess it didn't help that they let me name him."

Ashley nods, giving Amy her full attention.

"And then I saw the look on Ricky's face. Like he was so...broken. When he saw John he was so happy, scared, but happy, and then when they took him away...he just walked out Ashley!" she cries, and Ashley pulls her into a tight hug, "It's going to be ok Amy. You did what was best for you, and no one can ever say anything about that."

She laughs, "Ben said the same thing."

Ashley laughs with her, "He's a good guy, Ben. They both are."

"Both?" Amy looks at her, confusion written all over her face.

"Ricky..." she mumbles.

"Do you think either of them would have stayed around to help me with the baby Ashley?"

Ashley ponders the thought, "Yeah Amy, I think they would have. Even Ricky, he would have stepped up to the plate eventually and Ben well, he's always there."

Amy smiles at the thought, "Yeah, I guess he is."

"I'm sorry I got mad at you for doing what you thought was right." Ashley mumbles.

"I'm sorry I didn't really think about how you might feel about the situation. But Ash, I promise you we'll still get to see him. Leon and Donovan said we can come by anytime we want. This is what's best for him. I love him, but I want him to have a good life, not a hard one." she says, and they hug for the second time that night before Ashley goes to bed.

Amy grabs her cell phone, ignoring the text messages that she's just received from Madison, Lauren, and Ben. She goes to her gallery and takes a look at the photos her dad took for her before Leon and Donovan took John home. She smiles as she touches the tiny picture, memorizing every part of his little face, "_I love you John."_ she mutters to herself, then she closes her phone and puts her attention back to her studies.


End file.
